Friday, December 25, 2015



As bereaved moms that are also Christian…we are called to believe "the impossible"…that our children are not truly gone, but only gone ahead--and are still very much alive! We are-like Mary-called to believe, to trust that God somehow has it all figured out; that what He says will in fact come true, because He has spoken it.

We can believe that God created the entire universe…that He spoke an entire creation into being. Why then, is it so hard to believe that our children are still alive?

Partly I feel, is because society is heavily anti-Christian. And I have come across more than a few Christian "leaders"…that have led me, alright…almost led me right down the primrose path of disbelief!

I have heard several variations of Mary's innocently questioning, "How can this be?" from those I already expected would well know the answer.  A leader in a global Christian "think tank", a new acquaintance, asked me "Did God really help you after the accident?" It was her worst fear realized, what I'd gone through, and she wanted to know if He was there for me…

Honestly, my heart sank when I heard the question. It was only months after the wreck, and I wanted support for my tentatively strong faith that all was truly well. I felt great joy though, being able to enthusiastically affirm my belief and say,  "Yes! God has been there for me and has truly helped me.

Another Christian leader questioned how anyone could survive child loss. Again, my heart sank. Is it any surprise, that the bereaved continue on with shaky hope--if any hope at all--that their child is still alive, with leaders seemingly so unsure of God's sufficiency (and proficiency!) I am fortunate that my current Pastor is a strong Believer. She Trusts Him completely, and I find her confidence very faith-affirming.

When the foundations are being destroyed, what can the righteous do?" (Ps 11:3)

I no longer cry buckets of tears in extreme grief over the loss of my children. My eyes may mist when I think of my sweet Michael and Lisa. Of course I miss them and will always love them. That's a given. But I'm not dwelling on loss, or getting stuck there...Why? Because I believe. I know that my Redeemer liveth…I also know that my children liveth! I can't say I believe in God, without believing what He tells me. Either Jesus really is Whom He says He is…or Jesus is a lunatic talking madness. Either Jesus was speaking the Truth, or He was a madman. And through reflection on all the ways He's helped me in the past, I choose to believe the evidence--that Jesus really is telling me the truth in Scripture. Jesus tells us to at least believe on the "miracles" in our lives-- that He's helped us to receive-- if we struggle to believe.

"Just believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me. Or at least believe because of the work you have seen me do." (John 14:11 NIV)

I know my children are well taken care of in Paradise. It's like they're on an all-expenses-paid vacation that never ends…or have won the biggest lottery ever…And to be perfectly honest, I believe my parenting skills are far surpassed by God's!

Many that are diagnosed with a life-threatening physical disease or injury, recover--over time. After 31 years on the bereavement journey, am I to remain in the same state of acute horror that i was in when I was first "diagnosed?" When we have a life-threatening spiritual injury…are we not allowed to recover? To again live and potentially thrive?

Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God." (Mk 10:27)


"I can do all this through him who gives me strength." (Phil 4:13)

"All things"…includes patiently enduring child bereavement…!

There's a common theme in two verses that I love; I find them helpful to strengthen my faith. The analogy is that death is akin to "sleep." (And when someone sleeps, it's generally accepted that at some point, they will wake up!)

"Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope." (1Thess 4:13 )

he said, "Go away. The girl is not dead but asleep." But they laughed at him. (Mt 9:24) 

Many around us--society in general--have no belief in an afterlife. (Maybe they laugh at us?)  If there's no afterlife, there's no hope of reunion. How sad--to be looking only at a lifetime of loss, instead of focusing on what is to be gained after transitioning. For our physically deceased children have gained.

 For those moms that aren't that sure their child is in Paradise, I am a firm believer in late pardons-God wants everyone to come Home-- and He gives everyone absolutely every mercy in order to ensure this. God is known to be an extravagantly generous lover. I believe our children have gained Paradise-- and as mothers, we have assurance that all is well... and equally important, that Reunion is coming!

Believe! and "Mary" Christmas!

(All Scripture verses from

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