Saturday, May 10, 2014


Tomorrow is "Mother's Day" here in the USA. Other countries, like England, celebrate the holiday, but it is held on a different day (March 30th this year). For those mothers that are bereaved of their children…this is "the" mother of all holidays. It is is a day to brace oneself against the onslaught of syrupy sweet commercialism-- geared to make even the most cynical of Scrooges…sentimental and teary-eyed. The good thing is that…24 hours later…it's all over with...

My first Mother's Day was a time of confusion added to the general suffering. My nearest and dearest older friend/surrogate relative "Beatrice", answered a question I had for her.

"Am I still a mother, Beatrice? I don't have any children any more! How can I still be called a mother?"

She carefully thought it through, and then answered the question logically. 

"No"... she said, "I don't suppose you are still a mother." 

And I felt my heart break open wider still-- sadness permeating my entire being…yet even more loss.

As dear as my friend is, (she transitioned many years ago) she never went through child bereavement. She had 3 healthy adult children (all boys), and 5 healthy grandchildren, at the time I asked my question. She just didn't understand.

I love her very much…but she was wrong. Mothers remain mothers, regardless of whether their children are physically alive, or physically deceased. The physical action of mothering may cease when their physical body is no longer with us. Yet, the mental, emotional and spiritual activity of being a mother --always --will be intact. Physical separation from our child, is never reason enough to stop considering us still "mothers".

 Mary, the Mother of Jesus was called "The mother of Jesus" after Jesus had physically died. Interesting play on words to me, that the color of Mary's clothing is thought to be "blue"...

"These all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication, with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brethren. (Acts 1:-14) 

Mary, although physically separated from us in Heaven, is fondly and familiarly called "Mother", by many devout Catholics.

So on this Mother's Day, I will be thinking of my children, with gratitude in my heart to God for the gift of them. For Michael and Lisa, so early transitioned, I will be focused on the joy they surely  experience, being with God-- free from all suffering and want-- and how they are probably thinking to themselves... (in the words of my former sister-in-law, coincidentally named "Mary"),

"Mommy's coming!"

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