Thursday, January 1, 2015
With the New Year upon us, I've been thinking about the topic of "change". What "changes"-otherwise known as resolutions-will we make for this New Year?
"Change is good!"is something we tell one another. But where child bereavement is concerned...change is always a bad thing. All I could think about back then, was that I wanted my kids back. I wanted nothing changed! So what if my children were now free from all possible harm (and dying so young meant they would remain sinless for all eternity?). I could not see then, that change was actually better for them. Simply because being "there" is much better than being here.(Understatement of the year!)
Only until much much later, was I able to truly concentrate on and believe in my heart, that the new "change"was better for my children. And because they were happy, I could release my ironclad grip on worrying about their welfare. And I feel I'm a better person, because of all the change. (Just to be clear, I do not believe that is why the accident occurred though.) I miss them. But I know it's best not to let myself "go there". Because nothing positive comes from that. Because it is like looking at the half-way filled glass. It is true, that the glass is half empty. They are physically deceased. But it is equally true- that the glass is half full! They still live! And joyously at that! Now which way am I going to look at things? One way leads to despair. The other way leads to hope and anticipation of reunion. And all the while awaiting reunion, I've got the assurance of no less than God Himself telling me, my kids are healthy and happy. I've got to choose the thought pathway that's going to lead me toward endurance for the long haul!
It irked me recently, when I read the ending of something that was written to help bereaved Moms (in a national publication). The author concluded with,
"No... life as you know it... will never be the same again."
I thought that was such a scary way to end what was supposed to be something supportive. Thinking about "never being the same again"- when newly bereaved and staring down the long road without our child physically present- is downright scary to me. Whenever we experience any dramatic change-whether good or bad-we are never the same! Our lives are fluid and we're in continuous movement-ebbing and flowing with every wave of change…
Perpetually looking at that glass as half empty, isn't going to help us help ourselves much. Because it is equally true, as our Christian faith assures us, that our children are well taken care of, nurtured and lavished with an abundance of Love Himself. If we believe what Christ has told us, we have no reason to not see that glass (eventually) as being half-full…Resolving to focus on the positives instead of the negatives, is a change for the better…not only for us-but for everyone around us, too.
Happy New Year!
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