By the time this is written, it will be 33 years that my two children and their dad went to Heaven. I can't believe it's been that long because it's so easy to recall.
I forgot to light my candles for them on the annual candle-lighting day that's held nationally. But lighting a candle one day of the year in remembrance of them seems awfully piddly. I remember Michael, Lisa and Tim --always in my heart. They've not gone so far away, anyway.
Some Bereavement Basics I've learned over the years:
1. God had a Good reason why He allowed what happened to occur. (Details at a later date.)
2. They're more alive now than I am.
3. They know that I love them.
4. God forgives and restores.
5. We're going to be reunited when I transition, too.
6. They're happy and they're "the lucky ones."
I tend to be an "all or nothing" kind of person. I chalk it up to the mix of mostly Greek, Irish and a bit of Italian ancestry my DNA results confirm. In regard to my Christian belief, this tendency has served me well. I figure, God's either perfect . . . or He's not. He's either all loving . . . or He's not. When it comes down to whether my young children and young husband were "cheated" out of anything of importance, I use this quality in my thinking, often.
He's Love Himself! Completely Good! Exuberantly Generous! Of course He restores anything that my loved ones might require to be filled to the brim with Joy! Or He wouldn't be God . . . He can't be both hot and cold in regard to L-O-V-E in all it's wondrous ways.
I'm thankful for all who've crossed my path whose faith has strengthened mine. Who've given me greater insight as to the depth and complexity of this terrible thing called "child bereavement." When we all finally make it through those pearly gates, the rutted roads we've been plodding on will be changed to streets of gold. Joy--that will never tarnish.
Michael, Lisa and Tim--thank you for the joys you gave me and for leading me closer to Jesus. Set a place for me at the table!
See you soon!
Love you,
Mom
