Friday, November 16, 2012


I like to watch TV when I'm using a treadmill, so the time flies by more quickly. I recently watched a show about WWII (and God's Providence)-- that gave me the idea for this journal.

 The point had been made about how "deception" was used in warfare. How big a part deception was… in winning 
individual battles. How ultimately you could be victorious by incrementally using deceptive tactics.  Defeating your enemy would be much easier, the show said, if you can trick them by using deception.

Sun Tzu was mentioned in the show-- an ancient Chinese military general. He is believed to have authored "The Art of War"--an incredibly old,  yet revered
military strategy writing.  I found out something interesting in Wikipedia when I looked up Sun Tzu…
"Sun Tzu's The Art of War is listed on the Marine Corps Professional Reading Program (formerly known as the Commandant's Reading List). During the Persian Gulf War in the 1990s, both General Norman Schwarzkopf, Jr. and General Colin Powell practiced Sun Tzu's principles of deception, speed, and attacking the enemy's weakness." (Wikipedia-emphasis added)

All of this input got me to thinking about our own War on Grief... also known as bereavement.

Deception IS used in our Grief War, and this is how I think it is applied. Remember... this is 

~FALSE INFORMATION~ pretending to be true and used here merely to illustrate my point!

Your ENEMY will do everything in his/her power to have you believe:

1). My child is DEAD with a capital D.

2). I will never see my child again.

3). I will ALWAYS feel this miserable. (This is closely related to number 4)

4). It will NEVER get better.

5). Memories are all I will EVER have--(This closely relates to number 6)

6). Because I will age, eventually I will lose my memory…I will then HAVE NOTHING.

7). God, although All Loving and Merciful, has chosen ME to feel His wrath and fury. (This closely relates to number 8)

8). God is PUNISHING me. My child's death is COMPLETELY MY FAULT. (Closely relates to number 9)

9). I needed to LEARN something--THAT'S why my child died.  It is MY fault.

10). Nobody else has EVER known suffering of this severity... or ever will.

11). Everyone will forget about me if I no longer seem "needy."

12). If I keep active enough, I won't ever have to think about or deal with any sort of "issues."

13). My child died too young, he/she has been CHEATED, and so have I. (Closely related to number 14)

14). If the world at large never knew my child, then my child never had any worth or value. (shades of subjective realism …"to be is to be perceived.")

IF you maintain belief that your child continues living after death…LIES will resemble the following:

1. My child no longer cares for me, as he/she has totally forgotten about me due to the BLISS that is his/her NEW existence.

2). My child cares for me, but has NO CLUE what's going on with me. That knowledge is completely kept away from his/her interested heart.

3). My child loves everyone equally now…I am no longer deemed "special" to my child in any way.

4). Although he/she is alive, I am prohibited from reunion because "pure energy" has no physical body, thereby rendering a physical reunion impossible.

5). If I move forward and feel anything akin to joy, I will be betraying my child, who is now carefully watching for any "infraction." This includes enjoyment of ANY sensory pleasure, no matter how minutely felt. 

6). I left out my child when asked "How many children do you have?"  Now my child is SEVERELY disappointed in me and I should hate myself. (Closely relates to number 7).

7). I forgot an important anniversary date regarding my child…I am a horrible person and there are absolutely NO "valid" reasons for forgetting, therefore,  I should hate myself. 

Some of these, quite a few actually, I have been guilty of experiencing during my 27 year grief journey. If we are to be "successful" and "victorious" at winning the Grief War…we need to be very careful about refuting these FALSE STATEMENTS with all the strength we can muster, as good soldiers. 

First, we need to be aware that this IS, a tactic of our enemy. Be aware that when you start to make progress moving forward (or help another) you will most likely  encounter "enemy resistance". Also, "divide and conquer" (usually with a significant other) has been utilized by the enemy often and quite successfully to weaken his adversary.

  As a Christian, taking it back to my core beliefs-- about who
and what God is to me and how unlimited His power is-- helps me win my battles more quickly and easily. Jesus is the ultimate, trustworthy, "Commander in Chief." Arming myself with "the Sword of the Spirit" -the Word of God- is a key to victory! It is my strongest weapon against the enemy forces that want to overpower and squash any hope I have of achieving victory over my grief.

The show I watched talked about the important need for "good leaders" to "give perspective" to the soldiers... How hard it is to lose battle after battle and the tendency for one therefore, to give up HOPE. A good leader will help a fellow soldier remember the big picture... and not get bogged down and ultimately fail his mission.
Don't give in…fortify your soldier body with proper nourishment (both body and soul) and join ranks with your fellow soldiers... TO WIN THE WAR!!! One thing is for sure, our children are now FAR beyond and free from enemy territory or influence...they are SAFE... and a joyous homecoming will be awaiting all of us soldiers...STAY IN THE FIGHT!!!


Linda said...

Hi Donna,
This is so true. The enemy will lie & try to make us feel that our child's passing is due to our sin, God's wrath & God wanting to punish us...our fault. I don't get drawn into that (most of the time) but I do get confused about the "physical" reunion part...#4. Any thoughts? Thank you. Love & peace, Linda


The "physical" reunion used to stump me, too! I couldn't understand "why" I needed to be be rejoined to a "body" after I had been set free from "needing" a body. It has been explained to me that we are created "Body AND Soul" and thus, after we die, at some point we will again have new and improved bodies, just like Jesus. Our "creation" will be completely restored, BOTH body and soul, as God originally did create us (body and soul). The body is "good" and we will all be "version 2.0's!" That's how I view this, Linda...thank you for commenting! Love in Jesus, Donna

Linda said...

Hi Donna,
That makes a lot of sense. So one day, in the sweet by and by we will be reunited and recognize our kids body and soul! Amazing!
Thank you. :)
Love & peace, Linda

DONNA--(Admin) said...

Yes, we will recognize one another as indicated in the Biblical passage regarding Jesus' Transfiguration. "Moses" and Elijah" are recognized and acknowledged as the individuals they are! Also,"He is not the God of the dead, but of the living, for to him all are alive." Luke 20:38

dale said...

Donna, I love this....may I have permission to post it on my blog? I really need to have this printed out...which I will do so that I can go over it daily to refresh me when I am prone to the enemies deceptive tactics. Much love..Dale

DONNA--(Admin) said...

Absolutely, Dale! I am so glad that you find it helpful. There really is "strength in numbers" and supporting one another in any way possible, is important for victory over the enemy.

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