How to help yourself heal during this long journey? Try not to keep picking at the scab that's formed. Early in my grief, I was constantly going over all of the nasty details about the tragedy. AfterI got all that "dirty stuff" out of my system, it was easier to heal. It's just something that has to be done-cleaning and then repacking the wound with non-hurtful material…
If anyone covers over a wound that's festering…let's face it-it 'aint gonna heal anytime soon. Probably it'll get much worse. But after giving careful attention to cleaning out "all the bad stuff"- it can heal more quickly if undisturbed. Quit picking at the scab! unless you want to reopen the wound, and interrupt the healing process already begun! I had to remind myself of this truth, this morning...
During my morning prayer time, my mind wandered, and I started wondering just what Michael (deceased at age 27 months) and Lisa (deceased at 9 and 1/2 months) would look like now, had the wreck never happened. Found myself going back to a "NO!!! STOP-DO NOT GO THERE!!!" remembrance. It's the one where I find out that Lisa
was so disfigured from the wreck, that she wasn't even viewable in the casket. And so she was placed below the opened casket lid. Uggh…
As SOON as that negative memory started to rip into my mind, I replaced it…with the image of Lisa as a beautiful, beauty-full, vibrantly alive gorgeous young woman. It wasn't very hard to do, as practice makes for efficiency as well as proficiency! (I marked 30 years on the journey last December.) It's a kind of fruit of grief-work, I guess. And it's never too late to start practicing this! With God's help, we can survive this most devastating of heart-wounds. Focus on anything that is positive, to counter the negativity-it is of vital importance to healing, in my humble opinion!
(Ecclesiastes 3:11 New Living Translation courtesy of Bible.hub)
"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. And he who was seated on the throne said, “Behold, I am making all things new.” Also he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
(Rev. 21:4-5 New Living Translation-courtesy of Bible.hub)
Donna, I don't know how this post escaped me. Please forgive my tardy reply. I like to respond to all your posts as you do mine. I remember reading it and kept it in order to comment.
I think it's strength of spirit that enables you to fight the demon of bad thoughts....as the conjuring up of visions that are heartbreaking. I know your children are in the glowing light of beauty and love as only God would have it. Won' t it be awesome to have them greet you upon entering Heaven in their perfectness, reaching out to you as children do for their mother!
Do I see a hint of red in Lisa's curly locks? Just gorgeous ��
Dale, no worries about delayed responses. I really like how you describe it as "Strength of spirit" -I had not looked at it before, in quite that way…thank you! And as for the red in Lisa's hair…there's a wee bit of Irish in us both, and a wee bit of red also! (The photo lighting makes Lisa's hair a bit more rosy!) I'm sure she's a stunning young lady and together, they will make quite the beautiful duo... and I do so look forward to Reunion time. I know you do too, and our joyful Reunion gets closer every day! Yay! Love you all, Donna
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