It isn't easy for me to give up my old ways of handling life's problems. I grew up in a family that seemed to equate "worrying", with actively working out a problematic situation. I would often be beside myself with anxiousness. My Aunt once told me I was "a worrywart"--I wasn't even in my teens yet...Attempting to "relax" and relinquish "control" at any time during a personal crisis was just not done...Feeling any peace would mean I wasn't caring enough to worry! And this was with both parents being Christian. Guess there's a difference between being "Christian" and being "Christ-Centered"...
To be Christ-Centered during a crisis means (to me), to give up an incessant control of the situation that is troubling me. I still vitally care about whatever it is--But-- I realize that God alone-- has The Big Picture. Like a tot getting a vaccination. It hurts and that's all she understands... not knowing that future hurt is being averted by going through a time of trial now...
This relinquishment isn't something that comes automatically to me. The old and familiar is easier. Something as wonderful as "Letting go ... and letting God" I experience physically as such a different feeling...this not being required to be anxious. Feeling that all's going to be "OK" now that God's in the focused picture, is not that easy for me to do, even though I consider myself completely in love with my Savior...
When things have been completely horrendously beyond my control...i.e. when my husband and two children were killed...it wasn't difficult to let go of Worry Central Command. The deed had already been done. It was ALREADY beyond my control. I had to trust that God knew what He was doing and that He had a valid "reason" for allowing this tragedy to unfold the way it did being Omnipotent as He is...The sad outcome was already known...
But it's the day to day life struggles...recent "issues" with relatives and actions I do not condone, that has me feeling that old, familiar, jittery feeling again..."STOP!" I tell myself...RELAX...GOD IS IN THE BOAT...
I don't want Jesus asking me, like He asked His fearful disciples at that time, "Why are you so fearful? Where is your Faith?"
Deep breathing does help as I have that very common tendency to take shallow breaths when stressed. And stress happens to us all...When we become Christians, we don't have an automatic reduction in feeling stress... Old habits really are hard to give up...we're so much more comfortable with the familiar old ways of doing things...Prayer can help...actively turning to God in prayer causes an inner calm in me whereas before, I had none...
If I remember Who it is that I trust--who has never failed me yet-- and who has been with me every step of the way-- helping me to get up when I've become mired and stuck--whose promises I can believe will come true because being Truth Himself-- He cannot lie--All of this "grounds" me and renews my decision to choose a different way of responding to my stress...A choice involving Faith in the One who loves me beyond anything I have ever known...And who assures me it's "OK" and desirable to be at peace and to feel safe...
