Monday, August 26, 2013


Many times bereavement has been equated with being in a war...the Grief War... Losing a child is like the ultimate World War. Not a skirmish but a full blown--of nuclear annihilation capability--war...

Many of us engaged in battle,  have seen "wartime atrocities". Simply explained, it is an absolute atrocity to see anything directly related  to the decease of our child (or children). For some of us, these atrocities are "in the midst of battle"-we're "first responders"-- The sights of terror and destruction are such that no mother's eyes should ever behold...

Some atrocities are primarily emotional atrocities. The woulda-coulda-shoulda's would fall into this category. Experiencing these emotional wounds is every bit as painful and potentially scarring-- as experiencing physical wounds. The physical pain that accompanies our grieving response, comes as an additional surprise tactic by the enemy...

The intensity of battle and wartime weariness seems unrelenting. The sound of the battle cry is heard every day, especially during early warfare. A kind of deafness to painful auditory stimuli, or blindness to visual bombardment, though can come after a varying period of time and brings a kind of breathing relief..

After nearly 30 years of treading the grief battleground, I have developed a kind of immunity to what once caused me to dig an instantaneous foxhole...I have  become used to the peripheral horrors of this war--But early on-- and fresh on the battlefield-- I felt entirely exposed, vulnerable and completely shell-shocked.

Now,  my goal is to persevere...I'm not in the direct line of fire anymore...I'm not on the front lines any longer. I'm back at my Army office job...but I'm still trying to be always ready to follow my Commander's lead when a battle erupts...which sometimes takes me by surprise...but never my Commander.  All- out battles are exceedingly rare these days; the battles being shorter and far less intense.

 Together witnessing much atrocity through many previous battles--and much collateral Commander and I have developed a closer relationship. I know He ultimately has my back, and has bound up my wounds and heard my wailing...He is leading me to Victory, one future day.

My duty at all times is to pay close attention and LISTEN to what He commands, following His expert lead...I know I'm in the best and most capable of Hands. He assures us He knows our whereabouts at all times...
"See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;..." (NIV ISAIAH 49-16)

My battle strategy in order to persevere and endure, is to stay attentive to my Commander in Chief, and to keep my focus on the end goal...the attainment of vast riches...the riches of the spoils of war given to all the victorious in battle....Keep the Faith...It's worth the fight!

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