Friday, March 1, 2013

FROM NINE MONTHS TO 29 YEARS

I love the green, growing decorations surrounding the supportive cross. The pink rose reminds me of Lisa's remembrance spray of pink roses, that were left on their casket...Allegedly they stayed intact... despite a very windy snowstorm that hit...

My daughter Lisa's birthday was today...she would have turned 29 years old. Older than me, at the
time of the accident. It is hard to fathom that so much time has elapsed...where did it go?

There have been "times of refreshment" over these years...but so much heartbreak too. One thing I know for sure... is that this life is incredibly "tough". And Lisa has been spared from all of that-- from everything that causes pain and suffering. 

But the "good stuff"--the life that is really life-- shared between my daughter and I, is that which I focused on today...not her death. It really serves me no purpose to remind myself of all life's "unfairness"when thinking of Lisa. So much on earth depends on circumstances, that it is hard to say anything accurately other than she died before I was ready... Before I was ready to receive her physical loss. I had to "receive" her loss...The funny thing about loss is that when you finally get to accept it...you realize you never had a true loss of them to begin with! The physical body may not be present... but the Spiritual body certainly is! They live! And when faced with death...that's the only thing that really matters. 

Only through the grace of God, go I along this long and sometimes lonely journey...Loving Savior Jesus, walk with me...and break down the walls of separation between myself and my beloveds. Let the light of Your understanding  illuminate any darkness of misunderstanding in my heart....Help me to stay single minded on my journey toward reunion--with You and with my children who are with You... Thank You Heavenly Father, Son and Holy Spirit for the great gifts of my children and of course, their Dad, Tim. Kids!... Lisa, Michael (and Kevin)... I LOVE YOU!!! 


Last photo of Lisa...about 2 weeks before she transitioned. 

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