Thursday, September 27, 2012


WHY GO ON? WHY should a Christian Mom not just give up? It's certainly the hardest thing we'll ever have to do in our lives...burying our child.

The answer is because we have HOPE. Through Jesus Christ, bereaved Moms have the promise of reclaiming our lives back again. We have the hope of LIFE again. With our children. AGAIN. It really "isn't over"--And to top it all off, it's been promised to us as a much improved fact--perfection for us all! And it will never end...we will NEVER have to say goodbye ever again!

I believe in this. I believe that what God has said, God can do. Why? Because He has shown me His abundant mercy, love and His HELP every step of the way, in my most desperate hours of need.

I didn't grow up in a nurturing family. "Dysfunctional" is a highly overused yet descriptive term for my early years. There was extremely little comforting for me from relatives.

A kind, helpful word of encouragement and a big family group-hug? What's that like? I would have no idea. But there was One that always followed through with consistent, non-conditional Love with a capital "L" for me... Jesus.

Where did my help come from?
 "I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
    where does my help come from? 
My help comes from the Lord,
    the Maker of heaven and earth."
Psalm 121 vs. 1-2 (NIV)
 "Our help is in the name of the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth."
Psalm 124:vs. 8 (NIV)

It seemed very odd to me to realize during my time of intense pain, that My Heavenly Father felt more loving and physically real and present to me... than my biological father. I could always count on Him. Only Him. Some weak-kneed "friends" may have deserted me in my hour of need. But never Him. In fact, during those extra painful days and nights, He was even MORE present to me. Through the kindness of strangers meeting a need that only He knew about; through the arranging of certain timely events and happenings-- these are things that proved beyond a shadow of a doubt to me that 
"Kilroy was here."

In a nutshell...I TRUST HIM. He's come through for me before; I am sure He will come through for me again. Even though I may not like the allowance of free will and what it destructively can do sometimes... God ultimately always has a "workaround." Because nothing is impossible with God.  I need to understand Whom I am allowing "to call all the shots" in my life. Even when I can't possibly understand the "why" of it all. I still trust.

I strongly feel that "Trust" is the most important concept there is, for those bereaved of their children (and for grief in general) ...everything else builds on the foundation of TRUSTING HIM.



dale said...

So very true, Donna. I also had a fragmented type of family life growing up...alcoholic father who drowned his mental illness with beer but only made it worse. I believe that "Leave It To Beaver" and "Father Knows Best" were cruel programs that best described what most of us did not have. They were the exception to the rule...the rule of "normal dysfunction."

Trust is a delicate process that takes a lot of time and sad experience to achieve. Tragically, we parents who have lost a child, know that to trust is imperative if we are to ever have one minute of peace...God's peace. I still have to be reminded of the peace that has been mine all along. Sometimes I get so down and out over my Brandon being gone from me that I forget the wonderful place and the happiness he is in now and forever. Whenever I have a bad day...when things are coming down on me...I think of how Brandon no longer has to deal with this life and all its burdens. He is FREE.

DONNA--(Admin) said...

Absolutely, Dale. The key for me to having hope to go on, was just this (eventual) refocusing on what my family gained when they transitioned...not what I "lost." That, coupled with the truth that "God Restores" if not in this life--than in the next--were instrumental to progress in healing for me.
FREE...that is what Jesus came to us to do...set us all FREE. And about those two sitcoms...I used to think they were my "role models"...Ha!

dale said...

Let your light so shine before men, that
they may see your good works and glorify
your Father in heaven.
( Matthew 5:16 *NKJV )

Dear Donna
For you were once darkness, but now you are
light in the Lord. Walk as children of light For; if
we walk in the light as He is in the light, we
have fellowship with one another, and the blood
of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin.
( Ephesians 5:8 ) & ( 1 John 1:6-7 )

Now how do we walk in the light? Well, your little light shines
every time you smile at someone, or do a good deed for them.
Also when you take the time to help someone in need, or share
God's Word with another. When you reach out to someone who
is suffering with pain or sorrow. Thus when, through you actions,
you show others what being a Christian is all about. Thus; Love
your neighbor as yourself. (Matthew 19:19)

"If everyone would light, just one little
candle, what a bright World this would be."

Donna, I believe your blog is a LIGHT for all grieving mothers who are broken and downhearted. Just as Jesus came to comfort us....your blog resonates that very love to all of us. Thank you for providing a place where we can let our lights shine even through our tears.

DONNA--(Admin) said...

You are most welcome, Dale. I feel strongly that Jesus is the reason for the Season of HOPE and that's why He's placed it in my heart to have this share HOPE and encouragement with one another. And it gladdens my heart to do so. Your feedback is extremely appreciated! Thank YOU!

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