Monday, September 16, 2019


Today Michael would have turned 37 had he survived the wreck.  One of his last pictures is placed before a lighted candle, electric with "wavering flame." It's always mind-boggling to think about the last time I touched him, he was only 27 months young. Although I no longer can touch him, he continually touches my heart, soul and mind. In that short span of time, he taught me, at the minimum, three very important things which give me insight and effectively touch me, continuously. 

He first taught me, that a rainbow (or "Bow!") as Michael called them, was something to be awed at. Marveled at even; its magical beauty arising unexpectedly and instilling a wondrous "Wow!" moment to be savored, fostering my newfound gratitude towards God and His marvelous creative ability. Thank heavens we placed that aquarium near a sunny window.

Secondly, that when we leave Earth, we return to Jesus, where our true Home is. Michael told me, as I've often mentioned, starting around two weeks before the wreck, "Going Home (to) be with Jesus!" Incredible, coming out of a wee one's tiny mouth. I might not believe it myself, had I not heard it repeatedly with my own two ears. This was heart and soul comfort for me, after Tim, Michael and Lisa unexpectedly "left."

The last thing is that surviving tragic loss means clinging to the strongest, closest rock that can unquestionably and unwaveringly "support" me. That would be Jesus. The hardest thing I had to do with grief was to let my loved ones "go." This was much less difficult when holding onto Jesus' hand, knowing that He was holding onto their hand. 

The so-called trite saying is very true, to me,  and I find comfort in knowing with certainty in my heart and soul that, "They've gone to a better place." Christians are not in la-la-land but are right here in the midst of constant battle. Like everyone else. The more I've experienced pain, suffering and other sorrows during the time after they went to Paradise, the more certain I've become that they have been spared (from earthly difficulties).  I guess that's one reason to be thankful for even the troubles in my life . . . they make it that much easier for me to truly feel that my loved ones ARE in "a better place." 

They're really only a heartbeat away. As I've aged substantially since 1984, this, too, is gratefully known more clearly to me. One good reason to be thankful for older age! 

Happy Birthday my dearest little Michael. You'll always be my baby, no matter how many earth years go by. I love you forever and look so forward to reunion with you, your Dad and sister Lisa.  And thank you for teaching me. See you soon. Mom

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